Custody - Three Little STEPpigs

Once upon a time there were three little pigs. They all once had families, but unfortunately, they were all now divorced. So they decided to re-marry and build brand new homes with their new families. The first little steppig (as they were now known) was in a great hurry to start a new family. So she didn't even think about foundations, or rules, or how they would build their home, she just went straight to work, using whatever was quickest as material, which was straw. Too bad! The first storm that came along blew their straw house away. They gave up and got another divorce. And everyone was miserable. The second little steppig was also in a hurry, but she had watched her friend and learned a lesson - sort of. She laid down the rules for her new steppiglets. They decided together to use good strong sticks for their new home. Huh-oh! A few storms later and their commitments and rules fell apart, just like their stick house. Another miserable divorce! Now the third little steppig had been paying close attention, so, before they even married, she and her new mate sat down with a good friend they trusted and talked - a lot! Together they decided about their family rules, but they also agreed on how they wanted their new home to look and about any new additions they might need to build on. They discussed their fears, as well as their dreams, and what kind of parents they wanted to be to their piglets. Finally, they chose their building material - solid stones with sturdy mortar between them. Storms came (they always do!) and beat on the little steppigs' home, but they were able to batten down the hatches and ride them out - together. The piglets grew up and left home to form healthy piggy families of their own, always remembering how their parents had worked together as a team. And the piggy couple lived happily ever after. The Moral of The Story: Second and third marriages experience 65 percent and 85 percent divorce rates. Most stepparenting couples had no - or very slim - guidelines drawn up for their family before they married. They just bumped into each other, got their licenses, and hit the road ... to divorce court! On the other hand, couples who have strong homes tell me they laid out very specific plans together. They are just looking for some guidance and encouragement through the storms (which always come). If you're a single parent, divorced, or engaged to a single parent, NOW is the time to get help planning how to build a successful stepfamily. If you're already in a stepfamily, NOW is the time to get help in developing your short, mid-, and long range plan to stay together and raise healthy kids together. The only way to build your new home together so it will withstand the storms (that always come) is to build on a Solid Foundation (I'm talking Jesus here) and to draw up good, detailed plans. You need to develop household Rules, exceptions, and discipline, and lifelong plans, such as your Couples' Mission Statement and your personal goals for every step of your family's change and growth. You've got to be prepared for and expecting the storms and have definite procedures you'll follow to survive. It ain't brain surgery, kids! But then, maybe it is a little like making alterations to your way of thinking. Don't try to build without your Plans, and if you need us, we'll help! Bobby Collins is a stepdad first, then a minister, a certified family mediator, and founder of STEP-Carefully! for Stepparents!, the largest faith-based support organization for stepfamilies in the country. His articles have appeared in national publications and he has appeared on national TV and radio programs always teaching stepparents how to have healthier, happier families. His organization can be reached on the Internet at http://www.stepcarefully .com where visitors will find free articles, a free newsletter, and a book store with proven stepfamily resources for sale. Collins is best known for his private family mediation between husbands and wives, ex-spouses, and stepparents and their stepkids. With over a decade of experience, he has helped thousands of stepfamilies survive and succeed. Contact him directly at coach@stepcarefully.com Article Source:http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bobby_Collins